Total Crap

I just finished watching Alexander "The Director's Cut"
Now, according to everything i've read this "director's cut" is suppose to pander to the masses and have less gayness.
So since i have yet to see the theatrical cut, i have to assume it's essentially a fucking gay pride parade with Angelina hanging out looking hot.
less gay!? christ on crutches i've seen man-on-man-on-man-on-man porn LESS gay than that movie.

And strangly. It didn't make it any good.
I wanted to like it sooooo much. I really did. I mean Angelina, Rosario, Anthony Hopkins.... I WANTED to like it.
But i have to agree with all the reviews.
It was crap.
And not only that, but it was like they took a good movie and kicked it around until it turned into crap.
It had some good parts. Visually it was very nice through most of it (right up until the end which just got all retarded).
Angelina was amazing.
Jared Leto is always nice on the eyes.
and...


Oh wait. that was it.
Colin... well colin managed to look like shit through the entire thing.
Mr Colin Farrell. In the future avoid these two things.
1. Blonde hair.
2. Mullets.

But most of all the whole thing had no flow. Time jumps can be done two ways, well and FUCKING HORRIBLY. Let's guess which way mister stone went...
Just as i would start to build up some kind of emotional response to a scene, it would time jump to something that felt completely different. Yeah i get that they were trying to show how much Alexander had changed over time, but that would have been obvious if they'd gone for linear progression as well. It would have also made the ending much more meaningful.
Not to mention It was just impossible to suspend reality enough to believe that Colin was Angelina and Val Kilmer's son. I mean he looks about five years older than angelina and the same age as Kilmer.
Some 30 year old guys can pass as 19 year old boys.
Colin Farrell is not one of them. (even though he's not quite thirty yet)

Anyway the whole thing just had this weird thing where i kept thinking:
"This *could* be really... So why is it so bad!?"
I dunno, i think perhaps bad editing, and the script was a little off, and the accents needed work, and Colin (as much as i like him) was all wrong for the part.

Or maybe it's just the cut of the movie i saw. I think it's about the only "director's cut" where stuff was actually taken out of the theatrical release. Normally director's cuts have *more* in them.
So i'll just wait until the theatrical version comes out on DVD and watch that. Hopefully some day they'll release a real directors cut and call it and "extended version" or something.